Deluded
by Jeanie-luvs
Summary: Because sometimes the fangirl isn't able to cope, and something has to give. The line between reality and insanity has never been all that easy to see; that's what makes it so easy to cross.


A/N: This is a teaser! To use a metaphor that prolly isn't necessary and will only help confuse; you guys are the water and this story is a toe! And i shall dip the toe in the water and see if it's warm. Too cold and i'll yank my toe right on out! Make sense?

Anyway, if you guys respond well to it, i'll feel more confident in posting an actual chapter story (not like what i already have) So CC please!

If you get confused reading this, I have an explanation for you at the bottom. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformer or it's characters and affliates. Some quotes are from the movie; they should be pretty obvious. All things belong to their respective owners. I own my Character and that's about it. 

Insanity, Marney figured, staring down into the busy streets, was a bit like being in love. She wasn't sure how, exactly, the two were related but it sounded good, so it must have been true.

_"Marney"_, the illusion **(because that's what the therapist said it was)** called softly, _"why don't you come down now?"_

She twirled on one foot to face the gleaming, shiny figment, one hand clenched for balance. Or maybe it was for assurance. "Why would I do that?" The feel of skin on skin was grounding. Blood startled from the crescent moon dents on her palm. This couldn't could not would not be fake **(it can't be taken, it exists)** when everything else didn't exist in this reality.

It was silent, gears clinking and hydraulics hissing **(a paradox)** as it stood watching her, so still, so very, very still-

["_I've saved your life twice; I can't tell you how, but you are still alive because of me."]_

-Except those weren't hers to remember, because those things had certainly never happened. "Am I Sam?" It sounded so very familiar. The taste of it in her mouth was exciting, slippery, as if it never had trouble coming out; as if it carried weight. Surely it was important? "I feel very Sammy right now."

["_Is it courage or fear that drives you, Fleshling?"]_

_"No,"_ and it sounded metallic and regretful, so very _inhuman_, yet impossibly so, _"you are Marney. Sam has his own problems and responsibilities, just as you have yours."_

_["What's wrong, Witwacky?"]_

"Oh. That's too bad; I wanna be special, too." She giggled and raised a hand to the sky, "The All- Sparkah". The wind wound around her body-

[_"Look, I can't be any clearer than how crystal clear I am being. It just stood up.]_

-but that didn't stop her from being transparent. To them. **(And it was always, always, always about them, even **_**before**_**, but not after, because after came before the rest, and she was never going to rest again, was she?) **The illusion moved forward and she waved a finger, 'cause it was naughty, _naughty, naughty to move without permission, isn't that right, Mother May I? _and so she stepped back on to the edge and laughed as she teetered just a little, a little more, closer to the people on the _ground_-

["_F-22 pilots would never fly below buildings! That's alien... that ain't friendly!"]_

-closer was bad, though, because in the air she ruled over them all and there was a name for that **(Starscream, Skywarp, Thundercracker)** seeker, Decepticon? Ah, the dark.

"Am I a Seeker?"

There couldn't be worry in its eyes **(No, **_**optics**_**, Marney, mistakes like that will make them laugh at us, hate us)-**

["_Pathetic fleshling_."]

-illusions couldn't feel. But out of courtesy, she could ask it-_no gender, ever, Bender-bot?_ "What's wrong? What's got you so blue?" And ha ha, it was funny; the illusion had blue everywhere-

[_"I-it won't stop! God! Tracks, Mirage, I can't stop it- the flow-!]_

-and blue was a sad color. _"You are a human, from the planet Earth." _Mirage sure did sound tired. Why was he so tired, she wondered? Like a Human? Well of course she was-

[_"I feel like Alice in Wonderland". "If you were more like Alice we wouldn't be having this problem!" Sam snapped.]_

-such a tiny girl. Illusion-bot **(A mirror image, came the whisper)** said she was human. It was enough to be alive, like the robot-

_[__"Autobots. We are Autobots, not the unfeeling machines of your science fiction."]_

-wasn't what it was called. She turned away from the sadness **(and slowly, she began to wake up)** and studied the sky. They were up there, watching, she knew, and waiting for a chance. Like a storm seeking and targeting a town to rage against, bitterly and with all the power nature could offer, but they weren't natural **(Aliens, she thought sleepily)**, and really weren't all that storm-like at all, right?

A whirlwind-

And suddenly she could think clearly again. Marney blinked, slowly backing away from the dangerous edge, and towards the illusion _{ , bring me a dream} _and even though Mirage was solid and there, she wasn't allowed to believe in him. She cracked a small grin at the thought that, sometimes, the wind really _wasn't_ there.

She briefly toyed with the idea that all her insanity could be blamed on objects that could, and often did, disappear right before her eyes. _{No dearie, remember that you're insanity crawling around in headlights?}_ said the tiny voice in the back of her mind.

She trembled. Not all of it, then, was her imaginations fault. Maybe she really was just…crazy.

"How did I get up here?" She threw the question into the screaming wind and received an answer.

"Marney. Your delusions are getting worse." How odd that the wind sounded like a voice.

She started to nod, and then remembered he wasn't there. "Wouldn't it be great if dreams could become reality?" she asked herself.

In a rare show of anger, the wind's _{let's play hide 'n' seek! Turn flashlight so we can play, Autobot}_ cold voice rose, edged with _{Pretty, pretty silver, but why do you cut me, silver- quick-silver-qui- } _harsh sounds. "You cannot keep denying the truth! Your ignorance is only going to get you and others injured- you must _stop deluding yourself, Marney_!

"_We are real!" _the wind howled in time with her thoughts.

Marney smiled, though it was as sharp as his plating, and whispered mockingly _{to the there-not-there), _"'Sometimes the patient imagines things to help them deal with reality'. I imagined you existed once."

"What happened? What changed?" She had to ignore the desperation in it _{mech-his-duuuuude-}_ choosing to stare at the grey clouds. She knew that desperation derived from Mirage's fear of letting something happen, and getting reprimanded by Prime.

"I was out of touch with reality then, that's all. I know better, now." And if her vicious grin sent tinges of sadness through him, she didn't know it.

After all, he wasn't really there.

A/N: Confused? then this is for you.

Sum: Marney isn't insane, however she is told she is and she believes that. The first half is Marney giving in to her 'insanity' which is reality. the second half is Marney denying everything that isn't 'normal'. The **[words] **are her 'normal thoughts. the {words} are her suppressed 'insanity' which is always there. make sense? if you're curious, just pm me.

. Go easy on me!

Thanks for reading! I hope I've intrigued you *waggles eyebrows* :)


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